I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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