oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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