Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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