I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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