i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
