how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
