I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
