you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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