She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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