just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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