would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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