I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
