did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I want her autograph on my taint
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
