Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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