I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
