Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
