We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
