Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
