he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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