everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
