Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize
