i may or may not be watching the land before time
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize