i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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