I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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