Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Randomize
