The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
