He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
