He had one of those small greek statue penises
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
