My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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