I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
