i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
