They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
