just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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