she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
