i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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