I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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