Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
