Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
