Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
