Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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