I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
