i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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