well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
