I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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