my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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