just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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