party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
