I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
wow bdsm is so cute
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
