I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
