She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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